Am I really an artist?

Picasso said, “every child is born an artist” meaning children are naturally creative, uninhibited, and expressive. The second part of the quote; “The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up,” suggests that judgment and thoughtless criticism can stifle this innate creativity and block us the rest of our lives. Were you told to “stay within the lines and focus on more practical aspects of life?” I was! My father said, “What good is art? You can’t eat it or wear it.” However,finally I have accepted the fact that I am an artist. It was was a childhood dream and ambition of my life time to say, “I am an artist.” Apparently​ I believed it was a far off aspiration that I had to earn. One just couldn’t say “I am an artist” without creating brilliant, perfect works of art and being accepted in important art communities. Making lots of money selling my art would certainly prove that I deserved this magical title. When I was just a child, I remember going into an art supply store and asking for “lamp black watercolor for transparent washes” I probably didn’t know anything about transparent washes, but I loved acting as if I did. I drew and drew,especially people. In a earlier post I shared that I almost didn’t make it into 6th grade because of ignoring the arithmetic assignments, I spent my days drawing my classmates. ( I am so old that math was called arithmetic) After years of attending art schools, getting my FAA degree, countless gallery shows, teaching hundreds of creative students both privately an in a university, I still didn’t feel that I was a legitimate artist. Thinking in terms of author Malcolm Gladwell’s proverbial 10,000 hours, which suggests that one achieves a certain degree of excellence only after so many hours and years of practice in a discipline, (I know that I have put in more than 10,000 hours.) This requires a person to hone their talents to such a degree that the necessary motor skills become instinctual, ​relying more one’s own intuitive powers. This is what I share in my workshops. I want to encourage the participants to “feel” the creative process rather than intellectualize it. Finally, I recognized that I have always been an artist in this life and have been developing my creative and mental qualities over time, constantly wanting to reach new artistic heights, share with others, both students and collectors. ’ve come to know that we who are involved in the arts for any period of time can experienced moments of inspiration. At this point, it can feel as though something has been handed to you. I have had students, both young and mature, be completely surprised by the outcome. That is such a a rewarding experience! I love sharing all that I know. Last week I was blessed by a delightful workshop participant who booked a one day private class. She said, “I am not an artist” I was motivated to prove to her that she just needed to trust her instincts and feel what she was doing instead of using her intellect. This is what she created that day

Sharing wisdom and experience

Color has always held deep significance for me. Having studied its effect on the emotions and the body for many years, I was surprised when Sherwin-Williams announced Khaki as the color of the year. It’s not a color I would ever choose instinctively — so I turned to AI to understand its symbolic meaning: “The word ‘khaki’ comes from a Persian word for ‘dust’ or ‘soil.’ It refers to an earthy, neutral, muted shade — typically yellowish-brown or brownish-green. Khaki is associated with nature, practicality, reliability, and military origins. It symbolizes a connection to the earth, functionality, and understated strength, while also conveying calmness and grounding qualities.” I understand the collective need for calm and centeredness — especially as we witness the ever-growing chaos in the world. It’s difficult not to feel fear, anger, or frustration, particularly if you’re constantly exposed to the news. But... khaki? Last week, I became acutely aware of my aging. Sometimes, even now, I’m startled by how old I am. The changes in my body are undeniable. A question lingered in my mind: Am I just taking up space on this earth? Still, I packed a large suitcase full of encaustic paints, tools, and supplies to lead a program at the Exploring & Manifesting the Creative Self retreat. I printed out Qigong materials and brought my Sacred Women Tarot cards for the “Intuition” sessions I was scheduled to lead. I was nudged out of my comfortable stay-at-home routine, joining a group of 13 women. We stayed at the same hotel, shared beautiful meals, and slowly opened up to one another. My heart expanded with each conversation. On the first day, I introduced myself, shared what I’d be teaching — and mentioned my age. That certainly got their attention. People are often surprised I’m still walking around, let alone teaching hot wax painting! It was a joy to lead the first early morning Qigong practice, offer tarot card readings after lunch, and introduce the group to the magic of painting with fire in the afternoons. The next morning, we began with Yogananda’s energizing exercises, followed by a color meditation, and more hands-on encaustic work. The hot wax painting was a hit. Seems as if I still have something to share. One woman told me it was her favorite part of the entire retreat. She said, “Ezshwan, you have to come back next year.” I replied, “If I’m still here…” She frowned. “Don’t say that.” But she doesn’t yet realize — what peace and love are waiting for us on the other side. <

New series of encaustic paintings

another ceracolor portrait SD 480p

Encaustic Academy SD 480p

Ceracolor portrait #2 SD 480p

I haven't fallen in love with Ceracolors yet, but it may take time and more experiementing

My first ceracolor portraitSD 480p

My website has been down for almost 2 weeks now because of trying to change the domain host. There is a tech woring on it. I hope it will be back soon. In the meantime, I am trying ceracolors for the first time.