What Have I Done?

I just got these two big boards from the carpenter. When I ordered them, 100 cm x 150 cm, ( 39 1/2" x 55") , I did not plan ahead. I went to pick them up Saturday and found that they were too big for my little car. I ordered a truck for Monday morning. When I got to the carpenter's workshop, the driver wasn't there. Not surprising in Mexico. I drove home and my daughter offered to use her larger car to retrieve the boards. They are now in my studio, overwhelming everything else, including me. The first free day I have this week, I will start with a few layers of white milk paint.

I wonder if I had been feeling very creative when I ordered them, or just ridiculous. These will be the largest encaustic painting I have ever made. Finishing the 48" x 48" Tetraptych was exciting enough to make me take on the challenge of creating an even bigger encaustic painting, or two. I will post process photos.

The last creation of the Lightness of Being series 48" x 48"

Intrepid. Really?

A friend posted a comment on my Instagram feed about my latest painting, "Roller Coaster" and said, "As always, you are nothing but intrepid." I smiled and thought I like that word, it  means; "fearless. adventurous" That is what I want as an artist.

My greatest love is figurative art and I can get emotional and teary eyed when I see brilliant figurative art. When I say figurative art, I mean people. I know that a still life is considered figurative, so don't try to correct me. It is faces, bodies, expression, bold brush strokes that evokes passion and gives me that falling in love feeling.

Now back to abstract - non objective painting. I like that too, and I know that it can be challenging to make a painting that does not look like colorful vomit. Yes, I am critical. After 63 years of working as a professional artist, ( My first job right out of art school was in the art department of a book publishing company), I give myself permission to be opinionated. In everything I paint now, I want to push my boundaries and make something I have never created before. That may not be commercially advantageous, but it keeps me excited.

Roller Coaster oil and cold wax

Yes, the same artist (me) painted all of these.

Process Of An Encaustic Painting, Incising and Collage

I started with a pen drawing on a white milk paint surface

I added a few coats of clear encaustic medium

Fused until smooth

I carefully cut into the drawn lines

I filled the incised lines with colored encasutic

All filled in

The excess was scraped off with a razor blade

I added an oil glaze in the background and the drawn design I made on very thin rice paper

Online Advanced Encaustic Classes

https://vimeo.com/ondemand/4167
Click on the above link to take you to the class videos. finished piece complete instruction are included in my online advanced encaustic techniques:

Happy Holidays!

To all of my friends, family and friends I haven't yet met in person,  may you have loving, peaceful holidays.

Take This and Make it Yours

Preparing for the show/sale last week, I uncovered older work, press releases from long ago and reviews that I haven't seen in years.

I had a feeling of satisfaction revisiting years and years of work. Of course I am happy that many of my paintings went to new homes. Visual artists make art to be seen and shared.

One of my favorite paintings done about 1995 - (I wish I would have dated all my work,) reminded me of a comment made to me shortly after I moved to San Miguel de Allende in 2004. After hearing a bit about my previous life, a new friend asked me if I have ever had therapy. The answer was no. It was then that I realized that my art has been my therapy. This painting, see below, is from a series I made called, "Her Journey",about a woman's desire to be self realized, whole, and free from feminine stereotypes. The name of this painting is "My God Has Been Too Small"

I still have the wonderful comments from the International Art Review about this series;

"Ezshwan is one of those rare people who has the ability to take her very personal life experiences and speak them to others in a way that not only allows ownership but encourages it. Her paintings say to you, 'Here, take this and make it yours' They are not threatening, they do not leave you feeling like you are the only person in the room who can not understand. Her work is a warm, comforting embrace"
"I know in the art world what i am about to say cloud almost be considered the kiss of death, but I'm going to say it anyway;Ezshwan's work is beautiful. Ezshwan, I know would argue with me, but I beg to differ. These pieces are works you would want to bring into and incorporate into your lie and home, as many have done. I will concur with Ezshwan that her work porobaly would not match your sofa, but beyond that, who among us has never loved a woman? In her paintings you see your friends, your sisters, maybe yourself. You can not help but to see a profound and deeply personal spiritual journey played out before you."

"Blessed Am I Among women"

I Open My Hand and Let Go

Make Angry Art and Become Famous

July 16 & 17th of this month, I am having a sale of almost all of my paintings. This includes encasutic, oil and drawings. There are figurative and abstract paintings. Paintings done before 2014 will be 50 to 60% off. I have posted only a sampling of what will be available. The doors open at 1pm both days and finish at 4:30. Previews by appointment. Directions to my home. studio/ gallery are found on my webiste: http:www.ezshwan.com

Why am I doing this you may ask? I am a painter. It is what I do. I make visual art to be seen. My online galleries are good, but they don't give the collector the chance to experience, or touch the art in person and I have scores of paintings that haven't been seen or at least not for a long time.
 
I sometimes ask myself, Why am I making more art?" I was sent this article by Enrique Martínez Celaya and it expresses how I feel about creating and continuing to make art until I am physically unable to do that. Below are some excerpts from his article:

“Being an artist is not a posture or a profession, but a way of being in the world and in relation to yourself. An artist is revealed in his or her choices.... Understanding who you are as an artist should be thought of as a life-long process inseparable from your work.”

• “How can you stay vital? Study yourself. Study the world. But do not become an authority on either. Something secret, mysterious, must always remain.”
• “The viewer completes the endeavor. There is no work of work of art without the viewer.” 

 

Notes on Ethics
• “Wide acclaim is not needed for something to be true.”

• “The qualities that distinguish great art from the rest are, directly or indirectly, related to ethics. At the heart of great art you will find love and compassion

It was suggested to me that if I wanted to become famous in Mexico I should make angry art. That will never happen.

Fireworks at Dawn

 This morning I received a lovely message from a woman who had just finished reading my memoir.

"...I think it is important to write about life, the reality of a woman's life. I really had a hard time putting it down. The thread of progressing into a deeper and deeper sense of spirituality based on living a fully vibrant life was like the gold thread. I think you ought to have a copy reader fix those few words and phrases. I didn't mark them, but I noticed small errors, such as a word I could tell you meant but it wasn't spelled exactly that way. I think it would be a best seller, meaning it would reach more people. I am 72 now and am about to sell my house, not knowing where I'll live yet. I also have discovered encaustic painting. Anyway, your story is lingering in my mind as only a really good book or movie does for me. Thanks for writing your memoir and I thank Spirit for leading me to your art and to the book."

https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Memoir-Fireworks-Dawn-ebook
 /dp/B008G371SC#customerReviews 

Unfortunately there are typos and breaks in the narrative. I  know that and I can't correct them. I do not have the manuscript on my computer anymore.  I spent years writing it and going to writing groups. It was edited MANY times by me and finally by a professional editor and there are still errors. I take responsibly for some of them, but manly the mix up in formatting happened when I put it into Kindle form. That took me 18 days to get it formatted, working everyday ; I got the "how do" book and followed it word for word. I least I thought I did.

One of the errors that still makes me shutter is that I wrote "it is never to late..." That is one of my pet peeves. I KNOW it is "TOO". SO,  if you can accept my apology and just read it for the story and see some pictures, it can be purchased on Amazon. See the link above.

The Truth Hurts

My daughter, Cynthia, came back from San Francisco last night and today I took her into my studio. She took a long pause and said, "Mom, don't sign that one. It is too pretty." She had other comments that I took as "never let this painting out of your studio and paint over it" ; also adding "you make beautiful paintings, not pretty ones."

The sad thing was that after an hour of mentally making excuses, I knew she was right. There is no saving this painting. I am posting it before it is destroyed. I will ask my assistant to sand it smooth and  gesso over it.

 I trust Cynthia to be completely honest with me. She is an artist, the most creative person I have ever met, and has had the experience of being one of the top art dealers in San Francisco for 16 years. She given me the inspiration for some my best series over the last 20 years. And she doesn't try to flatter me.

If you remember, I have been having a struggle with this paintings. I knew I overworked it. I faced it everyday with a bit of a knot in my stomach. I was determined to make it work. Trust that gut feeling! Just because there is a lot of time and paint on the surface, does not make it a good painting.

Particularly since I am in the last chapter in my life, I do not want to make weak, poorly painted art with no reason for being.

I have more ideas for the next paintings and I am glad that Cynthia is home to keep me on track.